show review-Brand New, House Of Blues Atlantic City

I bought the tickets for this show back in June, during the pre-sale, and not knowing then that by the end of November I would have no desire to actually see this show.

I dont know if its just because i have been in an awful mood the past few days, or if the revival of my once-favorite band has knocked Brand New down a few rungs, or if i really am just too old for this shit anymore, but i really had to force myself to walk out the front door for this show tonight. Hell, Snoopy Come Home was on and i really thought that was more important than driving to Atlantic City, but because my cousin was expecting me, i put on my shoes and drug myself out to my car, kicking and screaming the whole way.

Driving down to the show i still didnt want to go. i tried to explain it to my cousin, but since i dont even know what the problem was, it was really hard to explain.

We got in line. I still wasnt excited.

We got inside and I was able to deliver some treats to my buddy Mike, and that and the subsequent hug i received started to make me a little more excited, but not to the point that i actually cared where i was. i think at that point it was more just "okay, so i am really truly NOT invisible" at that point.

OBrother took the stage and they were okay. i have heard insanely good things about this band from across the board, but really all i got out of it was Cousin It playing a 90's alt mash up. it was bizarre, but there were a few songs that i actually didnt hate, so maybe there's some hope for them yet.

i was surprised to find out that MeWithoutYou was playing, too, so they came on stage, and by this point i could feel the excitement building for what was going to happen when they were done. Their set wasnt bad, i wish i knew their stuff a bit better so that i could tell you what they played, but i do know that they closed with A Sweater Poorly Knit. i like that song.

finally, around 11pm, after a whole bunch of waiting around, my boys took the stage. The minute they played the first note of Tautou it was like an explosion of emotion and excitement. whatever had been holding me back from getting excited was gone at the first chord.

The setlist was so freaking phenomenal. i looked at my cousin after a few songs and told him "i am totally okay with everything that is happening right now.

after Tautou, they went right into sic transit (if you ask me really nicely, ill tell you about my feelings on that song one day), and from there into i will play my game beneath the spin light. if you know anything about Brand New at all, you know that these songs are in order of appearance on Deja Entendu, one of my favorite albums of all time. At this point i was oozing excitement because holy fuck, they are playing Deja straight through. this lasted for a few more songs, and then they changed things up right were Jaws Theme Swimming should go (which made me sad, because thats one of my favorite songs to hear live.)

anyway, the set list looked like this:
Tautou
Sic Transit Gloria...Glory Fades
I Will Play My Game Beneath The Spin Light
Okay, I Believe You
Quiet Things
The Boy Who Blocked His Own Shot (i had forgotten how much i love that one live)
Sowing Season
Millstone
Jude Law
70X7
****
At The Bottom
Bed
Bride
Luca
****
Vices
Gasoline
Degausser
You Wont Know
Jesus Christ
Play Crack The Sky

the set in the middle was stripped down, and i like those songs all a lot more when they are tamed like they were. When they came back out and started with Vices i grimaced a little because that song really just hurts my ears (although there are some lyrics in there that i really like.)

I caught a picture of Jesse smiling tonight, and i feel like that is how i looked all night (when i wasnt screaming my brains out along with everyone else in the room). My buddy Jess and i were talking after the show about how neither one of us was really that interested in being there before-hand, but after that set (which didnt end til nearly one am, mind you) i felt like id just taken a hit of a really good drug. Its such a weird relationship with that band now, especially since Five Iron will automatically take over their rightful throne as my favorite band. I have seen Brand New 32 times now, and i feel like they just keep getting better with age.

365 project, "She sees shooting stars and comet tails, she's got Heaven in her eyes"

185.

Artist: Counting Crows
Album: Recovering the Satellites

My senior year of college was the only year that I had a car on campus. That was actually the first year that I had a car that was mine and that I wasn’t sharing with my momma or my brothers or sister. That car was really special to me, and it became a huge part of my life. Sometimes I think that car might have saved me from myself.

This was also the only year that I didn’t live in a dorm room. Six of us (five girls and one boy) rented a house our near the beach because our wonderful college did not have enough housing for the senior class. This wouldn’t have been so hard to swallow if our lottery number was like 372, but considering we were like number 32 or something, it was a bit frustrating…to the point that security may have been called on a roommate the day of the lottery for freaking out about how absolutely unfair this was, but that is besides the point.

Anyway, as is the case generally with such a group, things were not always smooth sailing living in the house. Most of the time we all got along without too much of an issue, but every once in a while things would boil over and all five girls would PMS at once or something, but it would get ugly in there. These were the nights where I would decide that I needed to go home after my last class, even if it was after ten before I even got out of class. The two hour drive home was always much shorter than that late at night, and I got a lot of thinking done in that car with the stereo turned all the way up.

While I remember making the trip home quite often over the course of my time at school, one night stands out in particular, and it was the night that I decided to listen to Recovering the Satellites on the drive.

It was a clear night, no rain or anything like that, and I was the only car on the road. There had been some fairly highly-charged issues inside of our house, and I knew that not only was I unhappy being there, but that I was not in the mood to deal with the situation that particular night, so after class I came home and packed some things and took off for home. I used to take 295S home instead of the Turnpike, because even though it added about 15 minutes to my trip, it saved me 1.15, and as a poor college kid, that 1.15 every trip added up. I almost always have Recovering the Satellites in my visor CD holder, but I kind of fight with myself about listening to it. Its kind of like eating goldfish crackers-I think they are going to be bland, and then I eat some and remember how much I love them. Anyway, I was in one of those moods, so I figured that CD fit the setting, and I popped it into my Discman. (Rhu was an old car, and only had a tape deck, so I had to do the whole Discman-to-adapter deal in the car.) This was also the night that I decided that this was my favorite Counting Crows album, and that i wanted that shooting star tattooed on my wrist.

At some point along 295S, in the middle of the night, with the windows up and the radio cranked, I figured everything out while the song Monkey was playing, but sadly, by the end of the album nothing made sense again. As strange as that moment of clarity was, I find it stranger that I can remember the exact moment. I find myself wanting to go back to that moment to see now what I saw then, but I think that I might be figuring it all out again, 10 years later.

365 project, "so come to my house and sit on my couch, my couch is made of orange vinyl. why dont you stay a while? i love to see you smile."

184.

Artist: Philmore
Album: Philmore

In college I listened to more than my fair share of music from a very specific sub-genre of music. Christian pop-punk was my favorite thing, and I listened to bands like Philmore, Relient K, and Holland, as well as the ska-ier side of that, which was full of bands like Five Iron Frenzy and the Insyderz. I have grown out of this phase, mostly because a lot of these bands ceased to make music, but also because I didn’t have the energy to listen to bands like this anymore. I am just too old to bounce around the house singing along at the top of my lungs into my hairbrush, though on some occasions, it does still happen.

I actually all but forgot about this album until pretty recently. I have been watching “the 90’s are all that” on Teennick and if you recall, the logo for the older-kids Nick shows in the 90’s was a big orange couch, and now every time I see it, I immediately sing “so come to my house, and sit on my couch, my couch is made of orange vinyl…”

I am sure I’ve seen these guys in concert once or twice in my lifetime, probably at Creation, but likely on tour with some of their Five Minute Walk label-mates (maybe even with Five Iron?) but I cannot for the life of me recall actually seeing them. I don’t have a really strong connection to this album or this band. This leaves me with very little to write about here.

I think that maybe I should listen to it tomorrow when I drive to work for the first time in three months. I am excited and nervous, and have first day of school jitters the same way I did when I was little and going back on the first day. I commented earlier tonight on facebook that my tummy hurts and that I believe that ouchie is a direct result of first day nerves. This is also why I am up and writing this entry at three in the morning.

I guess I should try to get some sleep or something.

365 project,"i went to a whore, he said my life's a bore, so quit my whining cause it's bringing her down"

183.

Artist: Green Day
Album: Dookie

It is my opinion that 1994’s Dookie and J.A.R. from the soundtrack to the movie Angus are the only decent things that Green Day has ever spewed out.

The trite garbage they produce now makes my ears bleed within seconds of realizing they are being accosted by such drivel. It pains me in the moments that I have no choice but to sit through a more modern Green Day tune, but I didn’t always have such a deep-seated hate for this band.

1994, as I have said before, was my favorite year for music. Lots of stuff that came out that year still finds itself being spun regularly for me in 2011. In some ways, I never really did grow up beyond 14-year-old me. I don’t know why that is, and its something that bugs me to no end, but that’s a conversation for another blog entirely. Anyway, I remember being so excited when Dookie came out, because hey, we got to say Dookie, and poop and fart jokes were funny (look at me saying “were” like I don’t still laugh at this stuff now.)

I can’t remember if it was the first time I had ever heard this album, but I’m pretty sure it was. A few of us were hanging out in my friend Bob’s bedroom and he pulled this album out of a stack of stuff sitting on his shelf. We all listened to the same radio station, so at this point we had all heard the single, but he was amazed with a the hidden track at the end of the song, called “all by myself” and he wanted the rest of us to hear it. Of course, at 14, a song about masturbation might have been the funniest thing we could have ever heard, and if I remember correctly, we may have walked around singing it in school for a few days after we heard it. Afterall, we were just coming into our own around this time.

There are songs on this album that I can tolerate. There are songs on this album that I might actually like. But I never upgraded from cassette to CD on this one, so if I really wanted to listen to it, id have to listen on spotify like I did tonight, or borrow my mom’s CD, which is kind of weird. Not the borrowing of her CD’s, but the borrowing of her Green Day Cd. She owns more Green Day than I do, which I guess is easy, as I own none.

365 project, "one baby to another says im lucky to have met you/i dont care what you think as long as its about me."

182.

Artist: Nirvana
Album: Nevermind

I hold some opinions on music that are not the social norms, and especially vary from my peers. I talked before about how I just didn’t “get” Radiohead, while most others in the same scene drool over Thom Yorke like he is the best thing to happen to Earth since sliced bread. Nirvana is another band that I just don’t really have much desire to listen to.

Back in like1994, I asked for a slew of cassettes for Christmas, and received a few of them from my Aunt Chris. Nevermind was one that I unwrapped that holiday season, and I remember feeling so bad-ass because I had a cassette that had a naked baby on it. What can I say? I was a kid. Anyway, I used to listen to this album inside and out, and I was really into a lot of the other “grunge” acts of the time, mostly because that is what my friends/the people I thought were cool were listening to, but I never really felt a connection with Nevermind the way I had with albums previous to or since this time. I just shrugged that off and told myself that I liked it. I was a “grunge” kind of kid and these were the bands that I was supposed to be listening to, otherwise I wouldn’t fit in.

Since that time, I have come to the conclusion that I do not really like Nirvana, but I think what it boils down to is that I just do not like the hype. I know that Nirvana changed the face of music when this album was released. Boy bands and bubblegum pop were the rulers of the airwaves and it was starting to look like nothing was going to be able to dethrone them, until out of nowhere (or Seattle) comes this shaggy looking dude with long hair and a flannel shirt, and a new era of music was born. Labels were tripping over themselves to sign similar artists, and Seattle was the place to be. There was an army of kids in plaid flannel shirts, mostly stolen from their father’s work gear (I know that is where mine came from) and Doc Martens, hanging out in the malls and movie theaters, and feeling like they finally had a voice. It was a movement. Absolutely.

But I got bored of it after a while. In the 20 years since that album came out, it has really started to drain me to turn on the radio and still hear these songs every single time. I don’t know how often I’ve flipped through the six presets on my car stereo and heard 1 song that I didn’t know, three stations worth of commercials, and 2 stations playing Nirvana. It got old, and instead of getting mad at the radio stations who are STILL forcing this band down my throat, I got mad at the band. I mean, I never really liked them anyway, right? So what does it matter, and its not like I’m going to hurt Kurt Cobain’s feelings…he took care of that on his own.

But im sitting here tonight listening to this album, and am realizing there are some songs here that I legitimately like. I don’t feel like I am listening to fit in with any group, because at 31 years of age, I have my friends and I don’t know that what music I listen to matters as much to them now as it did in high school. I am listening and singing along and there is a chance that I am alternating between typing this entry and playing the drums on the desk.

Now I may have to rethink the way I feel about this band. LB will be happy.

365 project, "she is strong and silent/she is blunt and shrewd/she thinks that nobody loves her/if she only knew"

181.

Artist: Brave Saint Saturn
Album: So Far From Home

I am a Christian. I do not run around shouting this from the rooftops or beating people over the head with my Bible, but I try to live my life the way Jesus dictated and I try to do what is right and just in light of those beliefs.

One of my most favorite memories of anything ever is from a night in Pittsburgh several years ago.

I went into the city with a group of my friends from college, which also happened to be a group that was called “Christian Fellowship.” We were there to attend a conference geared towards college-aged Christians called Jubilee. It was a pretty huge event, and I don’t remember a whole lot from the weekend, but I do have scattered memories of hanging out in the hotel lobby and of popping into the conference room to see Over the Rhine play (I didn’t know who they were then. I only know of them now because of that conference. I don’t know that I have ever really heard one of their songs.)

We had a lot of free time at night, too, and since we were in college, we had some leeway. I remember walking with the group across one of the several bridges in Pittsburgh so that we could all go eat dinner somewhere as a group. I have no idea where we went to eat, I just remember being traumatized by having to walk over a bridge, as im terrified of bridges (and for that reason alone, going to school out near Pittsburgh was a horrible idea.) I think that this weekend was the first time I’d ever really spent any time dahn tahn  so I remember being pretty in awe of the whole thing. Pittsburgh is a very different city from Philly, so there was a bit of culture shock, for sure.

At some point during one of those lobby hangouts, I remember seeing a few of my friends walk past with their instruments, heading outside. We asked them were they were going, and they said to come with them. We crossed the street over to Point State Park, and as we approached one of the bridges we could hear it. There was a spontaneous Praise circle happening underneath. It was late, and the park was filled with mostly vagabonds and homeless people at that point, and then all of us. The others in the park came over and worshipped with us, and by the time the gathering broke off, there were somewhere near 70-80 people underneath of that bridge.

It was one of the most beautiful moments I have ever been a part of in my life, and every time I hear the song “under bridges” from this album, I am immediately transported back in time to that night 12 years ago.

365 project, "everyone's a little queer, why can't she be a little straight?"

180.

Artist: Weezer
Album: Pinkerton

Sometimes sophomore albums are just as good as debut releases, and sometimes they are met with just as much critical acclaim. I’d say that was the case with this album. The majority of the people I know have one common belief about Weezer, which is that there are two eras, before Pinkerton and after. Something changed about the awesomeness of the band’s songs once Rivers wasn’t looking for love anymore.

Have I mentioned yet the time that I saw Brand New and Jesse said “don’t dare me to play it like I won’t” in reference to El Scorcho? I know that I talked about that show, because the entry was just last month, but I can’t remember if I mentioned that. At any rate, when the band played El Scorcho, it brought the whole room together in a different way than we were already bound. There is something beautiful about a room of people breaking into random song.

There are so many emotions that I have tied up into this album, though I can’t remember a specific incident or instance where this album was playing. Although I remember when I realized how amazing it is, so I’ll tell that story.

Right after I got my record player, I spent a lot of time shopping for vinyl, and was rather indiscriminate in the things that I picked up-I was going more for quantity than quality at that time. If I saw something that looked like I might maybe have some interest in it in some way, or if I saw something that was cheap, I picked it up. I have an entire crate of albums that reflect this insanity, but im counting on the day that I just NEED to listen to Martika’s Toy Soldiers.

At some point during this frenzy, I stumbled across a benefit 7” that featured Weezer, Ben Kweller, AM Radio, but mostly I was excited because it had a Phantom Planet song, and at that time I was (not going to lie here, I kind of still am) obsessed with their song California.

Of the four sides to this little guy, the side that ended up getting played the most was the Weezer side, because Why Bother? is a pretty fantastic song, and who can’t relate at least some point in their life to the lyrics? The idea of not even wanting to waste time with someone because in the end they are going to crush ones heart anyway just seems too true. Once someone crushed my heart once, I definitely found myself feeling this way. It isn’t even worth putting myself out there because its just going to end badly and I am just going to get crushed. “it happened to me twice before, won’t happen to me anymore” should be my motto.

Anyway, lifting the needle and taking it back to the beginning of the groove over and over again just lent itself to my growing appreciation for this band and especially this album...I was all about them until they released the green album, but that is a story for another time.

Also, they wrote this song around the same time, and it is on the deluxe version of the album, and it makes me super happy:

"can't keep what you didn't have. can't even give it back"

The new Kevin Devine album, "Between the Concrete and the Clouds" will be released on September 13th, but because Kevin tours relentlessly, and due to the spin.com stream of his first single, it's fairly easy for me to say with certainty that i will love this album. 

just something i needed to make note of.

Ive mentioned before about hearing a song and it feeling like you've never heard it before, at least in the attentive sense. that is how i feel about this song, and it is uber fitting for how im feeling lately. 

Incubus~I miss you

To see you when I wake up
is a gift I didn't think could be real.
To know that you feel the same as I do
is a three-fold, utopian dream.
You do something to me that I can't explain.
So would I be out of line if I said,
I miss you.
I see your picture, I smell your skin on the empty pillow next to mine.
You have only been gone ten days, but already I'm wasting away.
I know I'll see you again
whether far or soon.
But I need you to know that I care
and I miss you. 

365 project, "i'll remember you as another lesson learned cause/i don't need this love/you lost my love/don't want your love/not like this"

179.

Artist: Anoop Desai
Album: All Is Fair

Oh man, I am so torn with this album. I loved Anoop on American Idol (he was my second favorite, behind Danny Gokey) and I was pretty excited to get my hands on his stuff, and the beat is decent, but some of the lyrics are just so…bad…

The first song on the album, “My Name” starts off with this gem “Girl, you pop it like a toaster/makin’ me want to get closer” and I can’t decide if that’s supposed to be funny, or if he’s just trying to come up with something clever. I have a feeling it’s the latter, and I feel bad for laughing. I don’t know that I could write anything better, let alone land a contract as a recording artist, so I am really in no place to judge, but those that can’t, blog, right?

I have made it partially through the album twice, and once more all the way through, and on that listen, I heard something else that made me groan, but now I am going back through the lyrics and I can’t find what song it was. I want to be clear that not all of his lyrics are groan-worthy, but there were a few that stuck out that made me sad that I was listening to these songs.

Overall, the album has a decent beat going on. I can get behind most of what is going on here. I feel a lot like I’m listening to BSB meets R.Kelly with a bit of Indian flair thrown in for kicks. I have caught myself bobbing my head along with the music one more than one occasion, and some of the songs are actually decent, but then I catch some of those lyrics that just seem out of place and I’m taken right out of the moment.

I guess it comes down to would I recommend this album to you, and the answer to that is…probably not the whole album, but there are a few songs on there that I can see myself falling in love with given the chance to get to know them better. The question then becomes-will I allow myself to listen to this album long enough to fall for these songs, or will it disappear from my itunes?

365 project," i feel like i've been living in/a city with no children in it/a garden left for ruin by and by/as i hide inside of my private prison"

178.

Artist: Arcade Fire
Album: The Suburbs

I remember initially hearing a song from this album on YouTube or something, and thinking that I really liked it, but then forgetting about it three seconds later (oh, shiny, look…)

Maybe a week or two after the initial encounter, I was in my bedroom “cleaning” (which really equates to moving piles of crap from one place in the room to another) and I was listening to WXPN and I heard a line that I fell in love with immediately. Sometimes you just hear things that you can absolutely relate to in that instant, and that was how I felt about this song. The line in question was “So can you understand?/Why I want a daughter while I'm still young/I wanna hold her hand/And show her some beauty/Before this damage is done.” One of the things that bugs me most about where I am in life is that I still don’t have any children, because the only thing I have ever really aspired to be was a mother. Anyway, if you listen to those lines in context, it doesn’t really apply to me at all, but those lines jumped out and made me want to run right out and buy the album.

I didn’t do that, as I couldn’t afford it, but I did obtain the album, and listened to it a few times. I wasn’t as thrilled by the album as I was by the single. Sometimes that is just the way it goes, you know? You hear a song and you fall in love with it, but then you get the album and its just…different. It doesn’t give you the same tingly feeling inside or whatever. Eh, I don’t know. What I do know is that I was less than entertained by the new disk and just kind of let it sit stagnant in my itunes until tonight.

Sometimes, when you listen to an album, it is all about your mood. Again, if this popped up during a string of pop-punk songs, I’d be very liable to skip past it, because it would kill the mood, but sitting here at nearly two in the morning, listening to music and learning about more deceit in my little town, it just feels…perfect. Actually, until right this very second I didn’t realize how appropriate it is to listen to an album about the suburbs while I am reading about embezzlement from my town little league and seeing the reactions from the people I grew up with in that very organization. While this isn’t the first I’ve heard of this situation, now that it is out there in the public eye, I can talk to other people about it. The whole thing really breaks my heart.

I’m going to end this with that thought.

365 project, "some people wake up on Monday mornings/Barring maelstroms and red flare warnings/with no explosions and no surprises/perform a series of exercises"

177.

Artist: Andrew Bird
Album: Armchair Apocrypha

I am so up and down with this album. I have deleted it and re-uploaded it to itunes about 37 times…okay, maybe not 37, but its happened a few times. I listen to it, decide I don’t like it, delete it, and then hear one of the songs on TV or on the radio or something and decide I need to listen to it again.

I first heard Andrew Bird at bonnaroo back in 2006. I think. I really don’t remember what year it was. He seems to be a yearly staple at ‘roo. At any rate, Mandy had a friend that was hanging out with us on whatever day this was (this was the first year we went down, actually. He had to pick the lock on the lockbox for them because Mandy’s purse got stolen and it had the keys in it. Now ask me to remember what year was the first year we went down…) and he told us that we NEEDED to see this dude play, so since there was nothing else going on, we made the trek to Centeroo to check him out.

All I remember is Mandy’s friend telling us “this dude whistles and shit. He does everything on his own and he fucking whistles.” I know that I ended up liking the set after it was done, and was proud of myself for finding a new artist, but sometimes I think I would love anything anyone showed me at bonnaroo, as that is just the nature of the festival. This actually probably isn’t something that I should share, come to think of it, but whatever. Haha. How many of you will actually be down there with me next summer to force new things on me? Exactly.

Anyway, I don’t know why I initially fell out of love with this album, but it happened. I do believe that I just got tired of it, as it was one of the things that was stuck on my ipod during the bad years when I couldn’t do anything to upgrade/change/update anything on that bad boy. These days I still don’t love listening to the album, and as a matter of fact, kind of sighed and scuffed my feet when I realized it was time for this one, but I am on my second go-round with it, and I’m going to be honest with you, it isn’t terrible.

I guess I never really did think it was terrible, its just different from what I regularly listen to, so that makes it hard to swallow at some points. If I’m in a pop-punk mood or something, and this pops up on my play list, it is kind of a drag, you know?

I have the song Fiery Crash on my itunes more than once, which leads me to believe that I decided to keep that one around in at least a few of the delete sessions, and never realized it. My favorite song on the album, though, at least currently, is the song Scythian Empires. It’s a bit more upbeat than some of the other songs, I guess. I don’t know, really. It just has something hook-y about it that as of late has caught my attention.

Here, lets just cut to the chase:

"put your car on cruise and lay back 'cause this is summertime"

This past weekend, I went down the shore with my two best friends. I was excited about playing in the ocean and hanging around on the sand all day, and of course about eating terrible food on the boardwalk (fried pickles all the way, man) but the thing I was most excited about on this particular trip was making a “we are going to the beach” mix.

I thought long and hard about the songs that made the most sense for the hour trip, and came up with what I considered to be an awesome mix. Different trips have different feels, and knowing that we were heading for a fun day down the shore, but coupling that with the fact that it was very likely we’d sit in traffic long enough to double our drive time, I had to keep the whole thing fresh and make sure that the songs would carry us through the traffic jams as well as the open road.

The other consideration when creating this mix was the audience. The three of us have some different tastes in music, so I wanted to cover that as best as I could without subjecting myself to an hour and a half of Hannah Montana or show tunes.

So I put together this mix, and couldn’t wait to listen to it while cruising down to Ocean City.  But guess what? I left it in my car when I got into Nicole’s car, so we never even got to listen to it. I figured instead of wasting it, I’d share it here with you guys. It really is a good “driving around during the summer” disk.

if you are interested, the download can be found here. 

365 project, "don't need a helmet, got a hard, hard head/don't need a raincoat, i'm already wet"

176.

Artist: Pearl Jam
Album: Vitalogy

I have two distinct memories of this album.

As it was released in 1994, my first copy of this album was on cassette. (I later re-purchased it on vinyl because I could not resist the fun in listing to the song “spin the black circle” on a black, spinning circle. See? isn’t that fun to think about?) It didn’t take me very long at all to realize that my two favorite tracks on the cassette (“nothingman” and “better man”) were in the exact same place on opposite sides of the tape. This resulted in my playing one song, popping the tape out of the walkman, flipping it, and playing the other song. This happened more times than I care to remember, really, though life for me got a lot easier with the invention of the flip switch on the newer models of the walkman. This meant that I no longer had to physically switch the tape, I just had to flip a switch. awesomesauce.

The other story still makes me laugh, even all of these years later. I have always, since I started owning music, spent the first few weeks after buying a new album with said album stuck on repeat. In later years, that has meant making copies of the album so that I could have one in the car and one in my room, plus one on my ipod, but in 1994, this wasn’t the easiest task, so I just basically walked around with headphones on my ears nonstop. Actually, I used to take my walkman in the car with me whenever we would go anywhere, so that I didn’t have to listen to my dad’s music in the car. I still do this on the rare occasion that I am riding anywhere with my parents, though its far more likely that I will just drive myself so that I can sing along at the top of my lungs without disturbing anyone else’s conversation.

So if I was 14 when this album came out, that would have made the twins 10 years old. 14 and 10 seem to be the perfect taunting ages, and obviously we were no exception. We still all pick on each other, even hovering around 30 years of age. I guess its just a sibling thing.

Anyway, it has seemingly always been my mission in life to make my brother Tim listen to the same music that I listen to. I guess this was largely due to the fact that his musical taste is similar enough to mine that he could be converted, while the other two were farther out there, my sister listening to top 40 stuff and my baby brother listening to rap. I distinctly remember chasing Tim through the back yard one day trying to put my headphones on him in order to make him listen to the song “bugs” on this album. He didn’t know what the song was, but he didn’t want to listen, so he kept running from me until we got yelled at to get into the car. We climbed into the van, and I spent the entire trip to mom-mom and pop-pop’s trying to make him listen to the song. I never did succeed.

365 project, "and trusting gets harder now/i wish you were here beside me/my failures my fears and doubts have been haunting me/i'm just not who i thought i'd be"

175.

Artist: Stavesacre
Album: Speakeasy

I have been stuck at 175 for days. I have tried and failed on at least three different occasions to listen to an album and write an entry, but between lack of focus and lack of anything to say, I have struggled a bit. Hopefully this album will prove to be the one that gets me over this hurdle and back into the race.

I was given this album out of one of the radio station closets. I cant remember which station it was, but they had a bunch of stuff that they were looking to get rid of, and because I did the Christian radio show, I was given a box of stuff that was otherwise going into the garbage, and this album was in the box. Something about the cover or the song titles made me decide that I needed to give it a listen, and it was love at first sight, or sound, I guess, as far as I was concerned.

College wasn’t the easiest time I have ever had. I went through a lot of growing pains during that time, and spent some of it in a really bad headspace, particularly my junior year. I know that it didn’t help that I was in a situation where I was around a lot of other people that were going through similar circumstances, and boy does misery love company.

I distinctly remember being in my dorm room one day, having blown off all of my classes because I just couldn’t face anyone else, and listening to this album, and then hitting repeat, and going through that for a few hours. I don’t know what exactly it was about listening to this album, but doing so calmed me down and brought me back to a safe level of sanity. Obviously I cant say that it was the album alone, I’m sure there were other factors at play there, too, but from that point on, this album means peace and calm.

Although this was one of my favorite albums (actually, probably BECAUSE of that fact) I lost it somewhere along the way. I don’t know if it was left in a roommate’s stereo, if it disappeared inside of my old car Rhu, or if it got left behind at the radio station one day, never to be seen again. All I know is that it is gone, and that this made me very sad for a very long time. There have been nights since college that I have been feeling less than stellar, and needed to hear “gold and silver” to calm my worried soul, but was unable because the CD was missing.

Tonight, however, I was talking to my friend Tim (who happens to be the biggest Stavesacre fan I have ever met) and listening to music on spotify. I went through a whole chain of songs that lead me to the cure, and on their song list, I noticed “fascination street” (which Stavesacre covers). I thought to myself “well, spotify DOES have everything, let me just check, just in case” and because I’m writing this entry up tonight, I think it is evident that they did indeed have this album.

I am glad.

365 project, "i can't always hold your hand, but i will always love you"

174.

Artist: Dan Andriano In the Emergency Room
Album: Hurricane Season

I was having a really spectacular day today. I got to spend the morning with my nieces, teaching the younger two how to sew, and then talked to my big sis about the upcoming camping trip, and then I came home to a never-been-used sewing machine that someone I know gifted me out of the goodness of her heart. I have spent today full of love and smiles, and I know that sounds cheesy, but I don’t care. I love the summertime. It brings out the best in me, and days like today remind me that even though I have my rough days (just like everyone) that there are some really spectacular people in my life, and that my life is charmed. (seriously, who else gets a job and a brand new sewing machine just by posting on facebook that they need one? I tried the boyfriend thing once, but everyone just laughed at me. I think I might attempt that request again soon…)

I cannot even explain to you guys how excited I was about the sewing machine. Actually, I can. My cousin Kenny had an extra ticket to go see The Starting Line tonight. He was willing to give it to me for free, just so that someone would use the ticket, and I decided I would rather stay home and sew things. The enormity of that is astounding.

Anyway, so picture me, sitting in my room watching the Phillies kick the Pirates asses, and then watching a new Phineas and Ferb, and then watching “The 90’s Are All That” on Teennick. Life is good. I am a happy camper. All of the sudden I hear this clicking noise, like a bug hitting against my ceiling. I won’t get into the gory details, but I will say that a side light that stays on all night and a less than totally functioning window equaled a bug plague of Biblical proportions in my bedroom….at three am. I tried to sleep through it, but I could hear them swarming around and I couldn’t deal with it, so I bug-sprayed the life out of those suckers, flushed a few stinkbugs down the toilet, and am now sitting here downstairs at the computer sufficiently skeeved out and kind of scared of my stupid bedroom.

I realize that this has absolutely NOTHING to do with the album I am talking about tonight, but since it was just released, I don’t have any fun stories that go along with it, and now that I’m in a less happy mood than I was all day today, I am sitting here listening to it on spotify.

Like I said in the last entry, I love Alkaline Trio, and I love acoustic music, so this album for me is a winner. I don’t necessarily subscribe to the “Matt Skiba is god” notion, mostly because I believe that God is God, but also because, as it turns out, most of my favorite Alk3 songs are not Skiba songs, but rather Andriano songs. I realized this several years back when I had the absolute pleasure of seeing him play a solo gig, along with Chris Conley of Saves The Day and a big hairy guy from one of those “deer” bands, but I don’t recall which one. This was before I even really listened to Saves, so the only songs I really knew were a few from Conley and most of Andriano’s stuff. I remember thinking then that I really hoped he would put out a solo album, because I dug what he was throwing down, and while it is several years later, I am glad to see that my request was granted.

I haven't listened with the intensity that I wish I was able, but it is my belief that most of these songs are written as love letters to his wife from the road, which makes them even more beautiful, as far as I am concerned. If you want to check his stuff out, my suggestion would be to listen to either On Monday or Me and Denver. Both tracks come in the middle of the album, and both are highlights as far as I am concerned. My goal is to own this album one day, but for now I will continue to listen to it every chance I get on spotify.

365 project, "been on top of the world since about six months ago/marking the first time i laid eyes on you"

173.

Artist: Alkaline Trio
Album: Damnesia

I love Alkaline Trio. I love acoustic music. This album is awesome. End of story.

365 project, "come and go with me/to my Father's house/come and go with me/to my Father's house"

172.

Artist: Audio Adrenaline
Album: Hit Parade

The third concert I ever attended in my life was an Audio Adrenaline concert. I am amazed at the vivid memories I have of that night, although most of them are hazy. I know that I went with Devon (who I haven’t even spoken to in years. I *think* we are facebook friends)  and that we danced like fools to the song Hands And Feet. I feel like there was a lot of merch on that church pew, but if you asked me to tell you what we bought that night, I’d be unable. I am pretty sure that I had an Audio Adrenaline poster, so its likely that came from this concert. I also can’t remember definitely how we actually got to the show that night, but my guess would be that Kathi drove, since most of the concert-attending I did during my short stint at Waynesburg happened with Kath.

One of the first CD’s I bought when I was getting my toes wet in the CCM pool was Wow 1999. It was two disks and it had over 30 tracks of the best of CCM for that year. The first disk was the more rock and roll stuff, and the second was more of the mellow, Praise & Worship kind of stuff, so the first disk got a few more spins. On that disk was the song Chevette, and listening to it now I don’t understand it, but at the time, I thought it was a fantastic song.  

Speaking of that song, I remember watching a football game in the kitchen with my parents one night while I was still in college, or just out, and seeing a commercial for one of the major car companies. At the end of the commercial, the announcer said “and hey, no one ever wrote a song about their Chevette.” I IMMEDIATELY called Kathi, and she had seen the commercial as well. I wanted to call someone to yell at them, because that obviously was a lie, but this was before the internet became a staple in everyone’s homes, and well before the advent of Google, so I didn’t know who to call. Someone must have done something, though, because I never did see that commercial again.

There are so many fun songs on this album, and there are a lot of memories wrapped up into those songs. I don’t care how cheesy it is, the song DC-10 still makes me dance around like a maniac (even at four am, which was the case early this morning.) Dancing around my living room took me right back to that dorm room in Burns Hall and the dancing that happened up there. I had really bad luck when it came to roommates at Waynesburg, so I spent a lot of time alone in the room, which sucked for socializing, but was fantastic for dancing.

I don’t know what has come over me lately with this onslaught of old CCM stuff popping up to be listened to, but it is making me remember who I was, and I’m wondering if maybe I am on the road headed back to a similar version of myself.

I need some help from you

I decided last night that I was going to try something different and go to bed before midnight. This was a great plan until I got to my room and discovered something was amiss. If you have ever had the displeasure of being around a broken refrigerator, you know the exact smell that I was smelling upon entering my room…it’s the way the air in the walk-in cooler at Wawa would smell when there was something wrong with the motor.

I did everything I could think of to get my air conditioner back up and running, but unfortunately when I woke up this morning my bedroom was still nice and toasty. Then, when I came downstairs, my mom informed me that someone had vandalized a few of the cars on the street, mine included. It wasn’t a huge deal, thankfully, and my mom and dad cleaned it up before I even had the chance to notice, but the fact that someone could be so disrespectful really burns me up.

I also realized soon after all of that that tonight is the Kevin Devine concert up in Asbury, but I don’t think ½ tank of gas and 20 bucks is enough to make that happen, so I have to miss out on that. I hate missing concerts, and I hate it even more when its an artist that I really love seeing.

So all of this is to say that I am in a rather grumpy mood this afternoon. My immediate answer to the situation at hand was to listen to Brand New’s Seventy Times Seven on repeat, because that is my go-to song when I am angry, but I realized that I don’t have any other songs to go to when I’m angry with the world, so I thought I would turn to you guys for some help.

Leave me a comment, here or on my facebook page, and let me know what songs you turn to for comfort when you are having a less than stellar day. I really need to build up my angry/rage/hate playlist.

365 project, "Where do you go when you're lonely? Where do you go when you're blue? Where do you go when you're lonely, i'll follow you"

171.

Artist: Various
Album: Music From the WB Television Series One Tree Hill

I showed up to the One Tree Hill game late into the show’s run. As a matter of fact, I believe that the show is in its 8th season now, and I have only seen the first six, only in reruns (or seven and five, I can’t be bothered to be too sure.) I don’t know what finally pushed me to start watching these shows, but it was likely a YouTube video of a song that I like featuring clips from the show. I will say one thing about this show with the utmost certainty, it has a rocking soundtrack.

I knew about this show well before it actually went into production, actually, and that is the exact reason that I never bothered to watch it. This is probably going to sound like a petty and ridiculously dumb story, but for the sake of the honesty I have so far practiced in this blog, now is not the time to chicken out and leave out details.

You may or may not be aware of this, but I spent the summer between my junior and senior year of college interning for MTV in seaside heights. I did a lot of different things during that summer (including, but not limited to counting spoons to make sure we had enough for one Puff Daddy (I think) and babysitting Johnny Knoxville (in which I was asked to stop looking at him while he was eating. I don’t know how else to keep an eye on someone without actually keeping an eye on someone, but such is the entertainment business lifestyle) but the two main duties I had were working on Direct Effect and TRL. While working on Direct Effect had its moments, it was weird because I didn’t know most of the artists that came through, and spent a lot of time researching hip hop, which was interesting but not really something I cared a whole lot about.

TRL was actually less fun, though. We only filmed at the beach house a few weeks out of the summer (recording more than one show in a day in order to be aired during the weeks following) and the second time TRL came down for recording, they brought their own interns from 1515, leaving us with nothing to do at all. (I spent that day reading a babysitters club book. True story.)

Carson Daly didn’t always host TRL towards the end, so while they were there we got to spend some time with the other VJ’s that were shooting the show, both of which were WAY nicer to us than Carson Daly ever was (he always has been and always will be a toolbag.) Aside from Daly, we got to spend a lot of time with Damien Fahey, Quddus Phillipe, La La Vasquez, and Hilarie Burton. Can you see where this is going?

Because Hilarie went to school with some of the other interns, she was the one most likely to talk to us, and she didn’t have that “im a star and you are a peon” quality that so many people in a position like hers might have. She was pretty awesome to be around, actually. But then she announced that she was leaving MTV to go be on a WB show, and this really annoyed me for some reason, even though soon enough I was leaving MTV, too (I only wish to star in a WB series.)

So I ignored the show. I used to make fun of Michelle and Brooke for having their One Tree Hill nights, and if I happened to be out that way on the night that the show was on, id make it the plan to be out of there before it came on so that I wasn’t subjected to nonsense. But eventually I came around, and I am so glad that I did. I have actually started listening to a lot of different artists solely based on hearing their clips used in the show, and there are days where the titles of the episodes make me dance like a little kid-one of the re-runs that ran today was entitled “The Quiet Things That No One Ever Knows.” See why i might like the show so much?

 This picture makes me way more nostalgic than i really expected. I wonder what Q is up to these days?

365 project, "and you're pushing three decades with that bottle now/and i didn't sign up for this kid shit now"

170.

Artist: Brian Bonz and the Dot Hongs
Album: From Sumi to Japan

I LOVE BRIAN BONZ.

There, got that out of the way. Its true, though. I adore this guy and it kills me that more people don’t know his music, because its damn good stuff. By looking at him, you wouldn’t expect his voice to be so beautiful, he’s even said himself that he looks like a 12 year old (and Anne Marie most certainly agreed with that) but then he opens his mouth and starts to sing, and appearance matters little because his voice is so smooth and soothing.

His voice isn’t the only thing I love about this album. The songs themselves have just the right amount of hook to bring you in but not so much that they come off cheesy. I fell for this guy’s music the very first time I heard him. For the longest time my favorite BB song was Judy and the Alpha Queen, but lately I cannot get enough of the song Kid Shit.

I have been fortunate enough to see Brian Bonz quite a few times, as a solo artist and before he stopped touring as a member o Kevin Devine’s Goddamn Band. Every time has been a special treat. One of the good things about liking indie artists is that I can afford tickets to their shows. You may or may not be aware of the Adele debacle that I just went through, trying to get 150 dollar tickets to a show that sold out to brokers in less time than it takes to listen to one of her songs. I can go see Brian Bonz for usually 10-12 dollars a show and get a much more intimate concert, and have some interaction with the band. When it comes to concerts, I think the opposite of the old adage “you get what you pay for” is true, at least in my experience.

So am I bent out of shape that I didn’t get Adele tickets? A little, because they were for someone else and he is not happy, but would I rather see Brian Bonz? Absolutely. No doubt about that.

365 project, "unite, ignite and spark to burn so bright the sight will blind the blind of this our modern time"

169.

Artist: OC Supertones
Album: Supertones Strike Back

In college I was obsessed what the song Little Man. Listening to it now, I can’t remember being that girl. I can’t remember the words to the songs on this disk. I don’t remember a whole lot about that time in my life. Its both sad and disturbing to me. My convictions were so strong and I was so sure about my faith. While I wouldn’t say that my faith has wavered, I am pretty sure that I am not as strong a Christian as I was then.  I am still a believer, and I don’t think anything could happen to make me question that decision, however, the strength of my convictions is something that could be questioned, and rightfully so.  I will say that I am thankful every single day for God’s unconditional love…and a song on this album, Grace Flood, is a perfect song to listen to whenever I need to remember that.

As I was driving to Jay and Steph’s the other morning to watch the baby girls, I was listening to this album, and upon hearing the song Unite, I had a sudden flashback to a concert that I had totally forgotten about. I don’t remember a whole lot about it, just that it was dark, and it was up near college. I think it was at Brookdale Community College. I know that Laura was there. I am pretty sure that Lou and Sarah would have been there, too. I also remember someone in an orange supertones shirt getting up on stage and dancing only to find out down the line that it was someone from frenzyboard.  I don’t remember who else played that gig. I don’t even remember what year it was. I am pretty sure that a band that we weren’t too fond of played, because I remember vaguely standing outside of the gym around a square couch-y thing and there being some hacky sack nonsense going on. Of course, all of this could be totally made up. I don’t even know what happened to a lot of my pictures in order to go back and look to see if any of this happened or if it was all in my head.

I feel like I should have stronger ties to this band, or at least this album because the song Little Man is the reason I started listening to them in the first place. It is so weird to me that I have a whole mess of albums that used to mean so much to me and now I can’t even remember the lyrics.

365 project, "i called you so many times today/and i guess its all true what your girlfriends say"

168.

Artist: The Police
Album: Every Breath You Take: The Classics

Oh, The Police. 

Do you want to hear about the biggest disappointment I have ever had, at least as far as music-related expectations? The answer is when I got the chance to see The Police at bonnaroo back in 2007. I was so excited to see this band that I had grown up loving, and could not wait until they took the stage.

Unfortunately, their set left me less than satisfied. The sound was awful, and they only played for about an hour and a half, when they were allotted a three hour timeframe. There was no jamming out or mixing it up, which is, at least to me, the heart and soul of a set at bonnaroo. It was just frustrating to watch and left a bad taste in my mouth. The set that they did play was not terrible in terms of songs, though. It had a lot of my favorites, so I wasn’t totally disappointed, I guess. I just wished that they played longer, and that I could actually hear what was happening.


Here is a copy of the setlist, nabbed from stereogum.com:
01 “Message In A Bottle”
02 “Synchronicity II”
03 “Walking On The Moon”
04 “Driven To Tears”
05 “Voices Inside My Head”
06 “Truth Hits Everybody”
07 “Every LIttle Thing She Does Is Magic”
08 “Wrapped Around Your Finger”
09 “The Bed’s Too Big Without You”
10 “De Do Do Do, De Da Da Da”
11 “Walking In Your Footseps”
12 “Can’t Stand Losing You” > “Regatta De Blanc”
14 “Roxanne”
________
15 “King Of Pain”
16 “So Lonely”
17 “Every Breath You Take”
________
18 “Next To You”

Like I said, they hit on a few of my key favorites, which made the entire experience suck a little less, and the song I was most happy to hear was “cant stand losing you.” I don’t know what it is about this song that makes me so happy, because its really not a happy song at all, but I get giddy as a schoolgirl when I hear it.

I can remember once, back at Waynesburg, watching a flyers game and listening to this song on repeat until it was over, because we were losing and I didn’t want to see that. I cant remember if we had a TV in our room or if I was getting updates online via my roommate’s computer, but I know that I was aware of the score and freaking out over the idea of losing that game.

For as much as a ticket to this tour went for, im glad I didn’t pay for it outwardly, and that we saw them at the festival. The awesomeness of other bands that weekend can overshadow the disappointment I felt after seeing The Police. 

365 project, "think i'll lie in the sun for a while/maybe inside out/I've been leaving messages for you/i'm sure it will all work out"

167.

Artist: The Newsboys
Album: Step Up To The Microphone

This was the first album of which I owned multiple copies.

The summer after my freshman year of college, I was very excited to be going to Creation with my friend from high school and her mom and brother. It was originally supposed to be an outing for our entire group of friends, but I was the only one who showed any interest, so that was how it went down. I distinctly remember listening to this album a lot while we were there. I had my mom’s portable CD player with me, and while I am sure I brought more than just this album, it is the only one I have any memory of, and I know that I listened to it over and over and over again during downtime back at the campsite.

Creation was always a good time, but I was always burnt out on it well before the festival was over, and was always beyond ready to come home when the time came. I did get to see a lot of bands that I really loved at that time, though, and generally got to see some awesome friends while I was there.

This particular year, the Newsboys were playing and I was super excited to see them, because for a while they ranked up there as one of my most valuable bands. I remember being really excited to go to their booth that day and pick up a new Newsboys shirt, but when I got there, I discovered they were running a special…buy the CD and get a cassette of the album for free. Never one to pass up a deal (even when its something I obviously don’t need, much like in this case) I opted for the disk instead.

I don’t know that I ever listened to the cassette, because who listens to cassettes? I am not even entirely sure that I know where it is these days. I know that I never opened the plastic on the second CD, and had thought for a long time about giving it away as a prize on our radio show in college, but I don’t think I ever did that, either. I have no idea what happened to that disk, either, but I’m pretty sure that it is no longer in my possession. Money well spent, huh?

things that make you go hmmmmmm.....

I was checking AP.net today, and came across this article, with this link.

that last link is to a countdown. 122 days, three hours and nineteen minutes from right now. it is currently 3:41pm , which leads me to believe this to be a show, because what else happens at seven pm.

today is the 203 day of the year, so add 122 days to that, and we are at day 325, which would be November 21st. of this year, a Monday. the band played their last show on November 22, 2003, so this is almost eight years to the day. they already have a DVD and a live performance CD out, so its doubtful that its either of those things, especially because new media is typically released on a Tuesday, and as we have already established, this  countdown is for a Monday night.

with my recent re-interest in this band, im definitely going to be keeping my eyes and ears open to see what else is up...maybe ill be selling those Brand New tickets in order to pay for a plane ride to Denver...

365 project, "What's good and bad/flows from the hands/of the God with the perfect plan/filling us with joy/all of this will glorify"

166.

Artist: Five Iron Frenzy
Album: Upbeats and Beatdowns

Growing up in suburban South Jersey didn’t really provide us with too many options when trying to waste a night. There were nights of underage consumption of adult beverages, but that was never really my scene, and by the time I was in college and coming home to visit, I was totally over that, so I found other things to do.

For a long time, one of those things was to drive aimlessly around with the stereo on full blast. A car full of kids and a tank full of gas (gas was cheap 10 years ago) and nowhere to be. Most nights, though, those trips ended up at the only 24 hour establishment around that wasn’t a diner-the local Wal-Mart. I don’t remember if we usually made a purchase or if we just goofed around, but there was definitely goofing involved. We weren’t mean or disruptive. We didn’t destroy or steal. We just hung about and talked about things until we got bored and decided to head home. It was brighter inside Wal-Mart, and I’m sure that occasionally one of us needed something, so the trips weren’t always for nonsense.

During this period of time, I was hanging out with a group of friends who regularly referred to our group as “the family.” Now, just because I am from Jersey and was part of a group that I called “the family” does not mean that I was ever affiliated with the mob. I’m not Italian. Also, I’m too much of a wuss to “whack” someone. At any rate, we were as close as they come, and we spent a lot of time together when we were all home. Also, we all really liked Five Iron Frenzy.

This is all leading up to a story that will take me about three seconds to tell, but that is still one of my favorite memories from this part of my life (minus the zucchini muffin hat, but that’s a story for another time.) One rainy night, the gang was walking up to the entrance, and we must have been listening to the song “anthem” recently, because one of us starting singing “a nation stands with heart in hand…” and the rest of the group joined right in. We were all band/drama/choir kids, so calling attention to ourselves was no big deal, which meant that in that rainy, nearly deserted parking lot, we could sing just as loudly as we liked.

By the time we were walking through the entrance to the store, we were about to the end of the song, and when we finished, the greeter started clapping and said “that was you guys singing out there? That sounded awesome!” I don’t know how awesome we actually sounded, really, because by the end it had turned from singing to screaming, I think, but we must have caught her attention in some way.

I miss those nights. I am also slowly realizing how many records have memories linked to parking lots.

365 project, "when all the stupid things/so overwhelming to me/like paying my bills/or showing up for work early/or laughing at your jokes"

165.

Artist: Rilo Kiley
Album: Take offs and Landings

I was made aware a few hours ago that Wednesday marks the 200th day of the year, and I’m only on album 165, so I have a slight feeling that I’m not going to finish this project exactly on time, but I’m not so far behind that ill take forever to catch up, either. At any rate, I am going to try to do more albums in a day in order to try to get caught up to at least a respectable place on the timeline. We shall see how that goes.

I don’t know what ever possessed me to pick up this album, but I know that when I first listened to it, I wasn’t impressed. That seems to have happened a lot right around the same time, and I find it amusing that my record collection was more indie rock than I was for a while. I’m sure I’ve mentioned it before, but the time after college was spent trying to figure out who I was (to some degree I’m still working on that) but a large part of that was trying to determine what post-college genesis was supposed to be listening to…what music turned me on at 23, 24, 25 years old?

I had this album, and it was on my ipod throughout those lost years, so I’ve spent some time with it, but this is one that truly fits the theme of this project as it’s not something that I know really well and I need to spend some time with it to get to know it better. I always found it amusing how quickly I latched onto Jenny Lewis’ solo project or Jenny & Johnny, and even to some degree The Elected without ever really being a Rilo Kiley fan. It was never that I disliked this band, per say, but I think that I heard about them too late to be relevant and that when I did listen I still wasn’t sure where I was going, so they just sat on a rack on my desk for years and hung out collecting dust.

As I sit here now and really pay attention to what is going on in these songs, I realize that this album was absolutely meant for 31 year old me, and I can see why 24 year old me wasn’t really so interested. There is a lot of talk of loneliness and distrust, and of broken hearts and brokenness and, while I wasn’t totally unaware of these things, I really hadn’t had a chance in my life to experience them. College was good to me, and even coming right out of school I was surrounded by friends, and was even seeing someone. I had no use for sad songs about going insane and being totally alone.

Now this is not to say that I am totally alone now. I know that I am not, but my social situation is terribly different all these years later. I have friends, but everyone works and is paired off and does their own thing. Many of them have kids. I don’t dislike their kids, but because I don’t have my own, I am just automatically left out of family-outing type situations. That’s really okay, because stuff like that just reminds me of my singledom. Would I like things to be different? Would I like to be in their shoes, doing the happy homemaker thing? You’re damn straight I would, but that’s not what the cards had in store, “And sometimes, lonely hearts, they just get lonelier And lonelier, and lonelier, and lonelier.” 


“for the rest of my life, I’m gonna search for someone just like you.”