Thursday, August 11, 2011

365 project," i feel like i've been living in/a city with no children in it/a garden left for ruin by and by/as i hide inside of my private prison"


178.

Artist: Arcade Fire
Album: The Suburbs



I remember initially hearing a song from this album on YouTube or something, and thinking that I really liked it, but then forgetting about it three seconds later (oh, shiny, look…)

Maybe a week or two after the initial encounter, I was in my bedroom “cleaning” (which really equates to moving piles of crap from one place in the room to another) and I was listening to WXPN and I heard a line that I fell in love with immediately. Sometimes you just hear things that you can absolutely relate to in that instant, and that was how I felt about this song. The line in question was “So can you understand?/Why I want a daughter while I'm still young/I wanna hold her hand/And show her some beauty/Before this damage is done.” One of the things that bugs me most about where I am in life is that I still don’t have any children, because the only thing I have ever really aspired to be was a mother. Anyway, if you listen to those lines in context, it doesn’t really apply to me at all, but those lines jumped out and made me want to run right out and buy the album.

I didn’t do that, as I couldn’t afford it, but I did obtain the album, and listened to it a few times. I wasn’t as thrilled by the album as I was by the single. Sometimes that is just the way it goes, you know? You hear a song and you fall in love with it, but then you get the album and its just…different. It doesn’t give you the same tingly feeling inside or whatever. Eh, I don’t know. What I do know is that I was less than entertained by the new disk and just kind of let it sit stagnant in my itunes until tonight.

Sometimes, when you listen to an album, it is all about your mood. Again, if this popped up during a string of pop-punk songs, I’d be very liable to skip past it, because it would kill the mood, but sitting here at nearly two in the morning, listening to music and learning about more deceit in my little town, it just feels…perfect. Actually, until right this very second I didn’t realize how appropriate it is to listen to an album about the suburbs while I am reading about embezzlement from my town little league and seeing the reactions from the people I grew up with in that very organization. While this isn’t the first I’ve heard of this situation, now that it is out there in the public eye, I can talk to other people about it. The whole thing really breaks my heart.

I’m going to end this with that thought.

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