365 project, "and trusting gets harder now/i wish you were here beside me/my failures my fears and doubts have been haunting me/i'm just not who i thought i'd be"

175.

Artist: Stavesacre
Album: Speakeasy

I have been stuck at 175 for days. I have tried and failed on at least three different occasions to listen to an album and write an entry, but between lack of focus and lack of anything to say, I have struggled a bit. Hopefully this album will prove to be the one that gets me over this hurdle and back into the race.

I was given this album out of one of the radio station closets. I cant remember which station it was, but they had a bunch of stuff that they were looking to get rid of, and because I did the Christian radio show, I was given a box of stuff that was otherwise going into the garbage, and this album was in the box. Something about the cover or the song titles made me decide that I needed to give it a listen, and it was love at first sight, or sound, I guess, as far as I was concerned.

College wasn’t the easiest time I have ever had. I went through a lot of growing pains during that time, and spent some of it in a really bad headspace, particularly my junior year. I know that it didn’t help that I was in a situation where I was around a lot of other people that were going through similar circumstances, and boy does misery love company.

I distinctly remember being in my dorm room one day, having blown off all of my classes because I just couldn’t face anyone else, and listening to this album, and then hitting repeat, and going through that for a few hours. I don’t know what exactly it was about listening to this album, but doing so calmed me down and brought me back to a safe level of sanity. Obviously I cant say that it was the album alone, I’m sure there were other factors at play there, too, but from that point on, this album means peace and calm.

Although this was one of my favorite albums (actually, probably BECAUSE of that fact) I lost it somewhere along the way. I don’t know if it was left in a roommate’s stereo, if it disappeared inside of my old car Rhu, or if it got left behind at the radio station one day, never to be seen again. All I know is that it is gone, and that this made me very sad for a very long time. There have been nights since college that I have been feeling less than stellar, and needed to hear “gold and silver” to calm my worried soul, but was unable because the CD was missing.

Tonight, however, I was talking to my friend Tim (who happens to be the biggest Stavesacre fan I have ever met) and listening to music on spotify. I went through a whole chain of songs that lead me to the cure, and on their song list, I noticed “fascination street” (which Stavesacre covers). I thought to myself “well, spotify DOES have everything, let me just check, just in case” and because I’m writing this entry up tonight, I think it is evident that they did indeed have this album.

I am glad.