61.
artist:Copeland
album:eat, sleep, repeat
as i listen to these albums every day, i start writing that night's blog entry in my head, so that I'm not sitting here dumbfounded when its time to actually write. i was trying to think of what i could write about for this album and i came up totally blank.
i love Copeland. they are the band that i want to see back together more than any other band (yes, including midtown. i know, these are some big words I'm speaking right now.) i am so glad that i got to see them so many times, and that we received so much music from them in their time together, but i still feel like i have more that i need to learn from them.
i vaguely remember reading something when this album was about to come out or right after it did, about the title. Aaron Marsh was giving an interview, and said that this album was written in a really dark period of his life, and that was the routine he was following daily. eat, sleep, repeat. nothing else. no fun. no life. no love. just the bare minimum to stay alive.
just doing the bare minimum to stay alive is how i feel a lot of the time. i put on a brave face and go out and do what i have to do, but the second I'm left to my own devices, i crumble. its sad, really. i mean, for a while there i was doing really well, i had quit the horrible job that constantly made me want to drive my car into a tree or off of a bridge. i have a job now that i love. its one of the few things around that makes me smile.
very recently, like within the past few days, I've had this sinking feeling in my gut like I'm about to get dumped. my heart hurts like its just been crushed. the major problem with this is that I'm not seeing anyone, and haven't recently been dumped, so i don't know where this is coming from. its put me in a weird mindset again and i haven't really been able to do much to break that. its been a really long time since I've felt this way. i don't like it but since i don't know where its coming from, its really hard to do anything about it. just suck it up and move on as best i can, i guess.
I've actually been wanting to listen to this album for about a month, but couldn't find the CD. i have the case, but the actual disk is missing. i kept trying to wait it out until i came across it, but today a friend of mine posted "i need you to tell me that you'll be right by my side" and i decided that i couldn't put it off anymore. this is arguably my favorite Copeland album and i was going to have to do what i had to do so that i could listen to it tonight.
sometimes i just want to write down a bunch of quotes from the album I'm listening to and just call it a day. this is no exception. there are so many lines on eat, sleep, repeat that just jump out of the speakers at me or that just tug on my heartstrings. in my opinion, this album is a beautiful breakdown, and that's exactly what i needed out of life tonight.
i had errands to run once again and was dreading the idea of hitting the same stores once again and driving the same roads, but i went and did what i had to do with Copeland on the radio and my Starbucks in my hand, and i just spent the time thinking about whats going on in my head these days and what could possibly be making me fall apart. i have come to no conclusions, but I'm a bit more mellow now, at the very least.
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