365 project"who will love you? who will fight? who will fall far behind?"

66.

artist:Bon Iver
album:For Emma, Forever Ago

i have wanted to listen to this album since i started the project, but could never find my CD anywhere. I was running out of time tonight, so i decided to see what was on the computer to listen to, and that popped up, so here we are.

a few years back, i was at a Kevin Devine show up in central jersey, and after the show we were standing around talking to him about whatever. either Jess or Rebecca asked him what he was listening to lately, and he said Bon Iver, and he couldnt sing high enough praises about this album. even after hearing kevin talk about how great it was, i still just didnt find time to check it out.

i honestly cant say that i remember the reason that i finally got around to checking out this disk. all i know is that it came along at the right time in my life. it is the saddest collection of songs i have ever heard, and i mean that in the best way possible. listening to this album makes my heart hurt. from start to finish, i can feel the tears welling up. Justin Vernon is really onto something.

there are some albums that i can only listen to at certian times. im sure that i would not want to listen to this album driving down the highway with the windows down on a bright, sunny summer day, just the same as i cant listen to something like the starting line on a cold, dreary winters day, which is perfect for for emma, forever ago.

today, while it wasnt cold or dreary, did end up being a perfect day for listening to this album. ive been in a bad place lately. i know the root of the problems, but i have no solutions, so it just keeps building up. sometimes i feel like im going to explode. othertimes i feel like a meltdown is eminent. i havent been in this mental state in quite some time, and things for the most part have been going well, so its really frustrating to end up back in this place again recently.

i have always been interested in how music affects our moods and who we are. i wrote my senior thesis on that subject. lately i have been trying to listen to stuff that is a little more upbeat to try to pull myself out of this funk, but at the end of the day the smile fades and i have to lay down and spend time inside my own brain, and its hard to hide yourself from yourself.